Don’t get trapped in the inescapable net of ruin,
By your own senseless want.
The desire to get free is never as strong as the want that traps you.
I cannot stress how desperate I am to make young people, parents, grandparents youth leaders and all who are in positions of care and protection over young people and families, aware of the possible results of secret porn addictions that remain undisclosed.
You may not want to know this or believe it, but it is probable that pornography will be viewed by your children your grandchildren, and any young child or young adults in your care, by the time they are thirteen.
The faceless intruder makes her move on the curious defenceless minds of youth. To lie unseen discreetly coiling her tentacles around the confusions and experiments of the innocent. Allowing the soul she has claimed to believe they are armed well against her temptations. Then over time the grip is to strong and will wreck intimacy, careers, callings, relationships and families.
Through my own story I want to shout out to everyone I can, to expose this silent enemy whenever and wherever it raises its ugly head. Pre pubesant girls and boys are at risk of daily exposure to inter~Net pornography. Their innocent minds are vulnerable to becoming shaped with anticipations of future intimate relationships through what they view being acted out on-Line.
The future expectations of romance our children are exposed to is totally back to front, upside-down and twisted, in comparison to every other relational development between people, socially or professionally.
We would never dream of applying for a job demanding all the perks and privileges the company offer before submitting ourselves to an interview. Or expect the employers to offer us exclusive rights to the highest and most prominent positions ahead of our proven competences and training programs.
Neither would we expect to make what is precious and valuable available to someone we barely know or are not certain we can trust.
Yet it is a known fact that teenage girls expect to give away their very precious nudity and or virginity in the hope of a possible date. Boys don’t have to demand it, it is becoming the ‘way it works’ to get a date. The Net images model to girls what gives the boys pleasure, and models to boys that girls appear to enjoy giving such pleasures.
Boys were historically modelled what gives girls pleasure, and girls understood that boys enjoyed giving such pleasures… as flowers, chocolates or a coca cola at the local cafe.
So when did it all become so twisted? Not that long after time began relationships were getting messed up. It’s humanity, we’re imperfect, there have always been inappropriate and perverted sexual encounters and behaviours. With pornography in some form, being readily available.
That said. The possibility of being caught behind the bike shed, or by vigilant parents was a strong deterrent for most. Purchasing top shelf magazines was risky for underage young people. Should that have been accomplished, the evidence would have been discovered under the mattress or in a school bag at some date in time.
In this age of the World Wide Web these deterrent and protective boundaries have disappeared. Catching our young people out today would take impossible measures. Not forgetting how incredibly skilled they are with technology. They could out achieve many parents.
There is software available to download and worth paying for, but they have their limits. There is always going to be a friend at school who’s parents are more trusting, or naive, or aren’t so bothered. Need i say more.
I believe we need to go after pornography itself and expose it, bring it into the light. How do we do that? By talking about it. As with eating disorders, drugs, smoking and alcohol. ‘Soft porn’ needs to be taken out of advertising, then promoting it as dangerous and debilitating to intimacy within marriage. Pornography messes with the head, it creates a disability for sexual arousal without the involvement of ‘porn star’ type role play being involved or available.
Pornography is a disease that carries the equally fatal symptom of shame. Then shame becomes its own sickness. Then like leprosy isolates through fear of being exposed.
There is much that is wonderful to appreciate about the inter~Net and the World Wide Web.
Like everything else, a great strength can also be a great weakness. What is ‘User-Friendly’ is also ‘Abuser-Friendly’.
Nets, Lines and Webs are necessary in the food chain. Without fishing nets or fishermen’s lines, we could never eat fish. without webs, spiders couldn’t catch flies. They are all a means of trapping and capturing unsuspecting victims.
Much like our young people who are curious and will experiment with everything available to them. To then find themselves caught in the trawlers Net, at the end of a fisherman’s Line or stuck in a spiders Web – unable to set themselves free from capture.
When my husband eventually gets the help he needs to set him free, it will take him years to recover. Just as an alcoholic must avoid alcohol and licensed premises, my husband will have to avoid the NET, the LINE and the WEB!
I welcome you to follow my story, in the hope that it will travel the world to expose the horrors of pornography and sex addictions.
I have a chapter written that spells out some of the signs, patterns and habits practiced by unseen and silent addictions. Compiled from over thirty years of personal experience. They are not an exact science, but enough to raise the concerns of the vigilant to then be watchful and ask the right questions.